https://munchies.vice.com/articles/why-i-hate-pizza by Sara Rocco
To be honest, I was a little personally offended by this writer's twelve paragraph rant on pizza and pizza-eaters. She has a lot of baseless and quite extreme opinions on pizza-eaters. Let me walk through her argument step by step to show how nonsensical it is.
First off, she starts off with: "Most pizza sucks. It's overly bready - way too much bread relative to the toppings. The tomato sauce has a sickly sweet tinge to it. The cheese is super low-quality but stacked high, rubbery and flavorless." This girl clearly has not had a high-quality pizza. Maybe try some thin-crust pizza. Also, I don't think she realizes that there are many, many different types of pizza out there - some have more cheese, some have less. Some even have decent quality cheese.
Then she goes on to say that "pizza is food for an underdeveloped palate." Woah, I was not aware of the underdevelopedness of my palates, were you? This just seems slightly hostile. Then she attacks two other cheese-based foods: Kraft macaroni and cheese and grilled cheese sandwiches. Now I'm questioning if this girl's problem is with pizza or with cheese.
She claims that "people [who eat pizza] think that it somehow represents them." In her perception, people eat pizza to present themselves in a nonchalant or cool way, trying to tell people "I'm fun! I don't care about my health! I like this thing that makes you feel young or alive." NO. People eat pizza (despite its bad health) because it's delicious. They like it. If we wanted to be careless about our health we would eat Krispy Kreme Burgers (yes they do exist). She reduces pizza-eaters to people who are unable to make food-decisions on their own, and who eat pizza just because it is trendy to."With a limited amount of time on Earth, I would rather talk to people who are observant enough to pursue their own interests beyond cultural trends for the sake of cultural trends." Well I'm sure many of us would rather talk to sensible pizza-eating people than a rude super judgmental overthinking person.
She talks about people whose instagram names involve the word pizza or people who #pizza."They want to be seen as having a laissez faire attitude because pizza is fattening, and cheap, and pretentious. Pizza is accessible, so people think it will make them seem accessible. But who wants to be truly, totally accessible?" For the record, I instagrammed a picture of pizza this past summer. I didn't do it to seem cool, or to seem accessible. I did it because it was a damn good pizza (with extra cheese). Also, my instagram name is hashtagfat (follow me!). Get at me, Rocco.
"It represents a certain type of nostalgia, because as kids there were always pizza parties in school, or contests where if you read enough books you got a free pizza. It's associated with celebration or happiness to a lot of people." The only reason pizza as an incentive worked is because it was delicious and kids actually enjoyed it. The incentive to read was pizza, not broccoli, for a reason.
Moreover, she says, "I would rather have tacos. They're in the same price range, but don't leave you with that disgusting feeling after eating a slice of shitty pizza." Well, stop eating shitty pizzas and have a quality pizza for god's sake. Or eat your taco in peace, leave the pizza-eaters alone.
"I think it's immature when people have clung to things like pizza as part of their identity. I worry about people, honestly, who want to define themselves by a food they eat. NO ONE IS DEFINING THEMSELVES AS PIZZA! YOU are the one that's defining people by what they eat. I think it's immature to be judgmental. People are just trying to enjoy some good old pizza as a treat to their underdeveloped palates.
She ends her article with a speculation "a guy who takes a girl out to pizza has his life less together than a guy who takes his girl out to a steak dinner." Okay. No guy ONLY takes a girl to pizza (hopefully). Pizza tonight, steak tomorrow, maybe Chinese the next day... She clearly does not seem to be able to wrap her mind around the concept that people who eat pizza also eat other food and that they don't define themselves as pizza.
Frankly I don't really care whether or not she likes pizza. i just wish she would stop judging people so righteously, and think she is so above the pizza-eaters of the world. I also wish that some guy would take her out to get some quality thin-crust pizza. (Sorry I got a little emotional while writing this)